The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
