There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
