Kiss
Puke
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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