Already got asked if we're dating
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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