Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dear god my vagina.
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