Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
