you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
