Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
