Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
