when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
