I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
