i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
