if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
