hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
