he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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