Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
