is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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