I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
