O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
