I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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