I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
