so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
