lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
you never un-have a 4some
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
