I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
