We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
