I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize