Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
