god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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