I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
