She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
