My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
