i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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