So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
did i just pee glitter
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