My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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