is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Quick, to the slutcave!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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