Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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