i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
