ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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