yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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