So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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