your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
