HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
