If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
try to milk me bitch
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