I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
