As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize