You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
