im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How's work?
Spinning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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