I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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