so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
