May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
