Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
