have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You are a genius and a whore.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
