I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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