when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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