I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize