we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize