porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The chlamydia really affected his face.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
