Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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