Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
