I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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