i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
