all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
